Legends say...
the hummingbird floats free of time, carrying our hopes for love, joy and celebration... opening our eyes to the wonder of the world and inspire us to open our hearts to loved ones and friends. The hummingbird’s delicate grace reminds us that life is rich, beauty is everywhere, every personal connection has meaning and that laughter is life’s sweetest creation.
Love wins… regardless of any circumstance or situation… love always wins… I awoke the next morning to sunshine streaming through the windows… it was brilliant… I felt better having cried away many of life’s regrets the night before… a lady in white came to me in a dream… she knelt over me and touched my forehead… it seemed surreal… it was really the only thing I recall from my dreams that night… but, I felt much more relaxed… I got myself around and ventured downstairs for breakfast…
… there in the corner of the veranda was my table… round and amazingly festooned with a huge bouquet of brilliantly colored flowers… it is like out of a dream itself… the entire table… amazing colors of juices in beautiful crystal decanters… tiny glorious service ware for sugars and jellies… the array of fruit sprinkled with pomegranate (a very favorite if mine)… thinly sliced grapes and strawberries… it was perfect! So many details for me to examine and admire… I enjoyed the morning thoroughly…
I began thinking about dinner the evening prior… I was sitting at the same table… then garlanded with amazing red flowers and carefully selected linens… deep red crystal glasses… and an array of splendid china to accompany each course of my dinner… it was lovely… and to top it all off… the house kitty, Pete, welcomes me to the table as he adorns the veranda railing just above my table… Pete is a peculiar one… he lies on the railing… just like an old black squirrel I befriended years ago at my beach house in Michigan used to lay… I miss that silly behavior… Pete is bundle of attitude all the way… I love it! I love cats though… especially those with personality, posh demeanor, stance and grace… that is Pete… Pete sits up to display his character full force, and as he stands, his heart shaped patch of golden fur is profoundly revealed. “Love wins!” I say out loud… “He’s a heart kitty… love wins!” I’m pleasantly humbled…
Each day on my journey here in the Dominican Republic I’ve noticed heart shapes in the most unconventional places… shapes that pop up, appear and remind me that I am indeed on the proper path… that I am doing exactly what I should be doing… it is sort of an affirmation to me that things are going to be alright… that God is with me… each time I see a heart shape I say a little prayer of gratitude… it’s my life’s mantra… love wins… these little reminders give me a sense of peace and joy in the world around me… I am reminded of how blessed I am… and I am grateful that I am one of the few who actually sees this affirmation in life…
There on the veranda enjoying dinner, I was finally able to connect to the internet via iPod… it had been several days that I was out of touch with the world… Internet marketing is what I do for a living, so not having email, facebook, google, or my cell phone (which broke on my first day of the trip), at my disposal was a real adjustment… I fired off a few emails to my sister, work, people who have been waiting for replies… I only answer the urgent… “Tell mom I am doing just fine… it is beautiful here!” [SEND] off to my sister… I set the iPod down… it was beautiful… the setting, food, classical music, candlelight, the dark night sky… almost overwhelmingly beautiful… absolutely beautiful… and then there he appears... he pops up so quietly… I’m taken back… not sure how to feel about being so well taken care of… the service is amazingly professional and eloquent here at The Peninsula House… but… how I wish he would just sit down and take up a chair next to me and join me in food and conversation; instead of waiting on me… I feel a disconnection in that scenario… it’s the only thing missing… someone special to share all this beauty with. That is the one thing I miss the most about marriage. My ex-husband and I would dine out frequently, often at wonderful places with lovely ambiance and pallet selections… both food and spirits… we laughed, talked, conversed about everything… I truly miss having someone in my life that can communicate on the same plateau… someone who just “gets you.” Someone who is capable of intelligently, sarcastically and cleverly talking, discussing, arguing, agreeing, giggling (especially when no words are necessary) with.
Back to the future… my breakfast eggs arrive to order, scrambled with cheese… perfect! Dark black coffee, amazing fresh orange, pineapple and papaya juices… yes, I had to try all of them!!! Delicious! I sat quietly there by myself overlooking the grounds, ocean view and sunshine encircling me… I bow my head and say a quick prayer of thanks to God for this blessing… although feeling unworthy… the tears swell up again… I grab my iPod and shoot off an email…
“This place is so beautiful… but, vacation is just not the same without you… I miss you…”
[SEND]
Uggh… I immediately have qualms about hitting the send button… :/ I begin to tear up again… Thinking about him with his new girlfriend in Bratislava... I shake my head and look down... ask God to forgive my life mistakes… I wipe away the tears and remind myself to look up and enjoy the beautiful scenery as I will be headed back to snowy grey days in Michigan soon… when I looked up… I had to catch my breath… there right in front of me… like a picture framed just for me… appeared the most brilliant rainbow that I have ever seen... blazing colors… It extends the entirety of the shoreline below… stretched out in front if me… ending and hovering on one side above the renowned “Peninsula House Beach Club” that I have yet to experience… the other end positioned directly in front of me… I am breathless… and immediately I know… I am forgiven… I share a special acknowledgment with God… I am humbled beyond belief… I watch the entire rainbow float on and disperse into the universe… God promised me he would always love me… and he will not forsake me… forgiveness is love… the weight of the world dispersed off from my shoulders in that moment as the rainbow did. The sense of serenity exonerated me. No one else was around to see the rainbow… only me… and God...
Following this moment of bliss, I decided to lounge by the pool and soak it all in for an hour prior to taking a visit to the beach that afternoon… On my way to the pool I paused briefly on the veranda to look out on the beautiful lawn… just then a hummingbird flew right up to me… I have never had one come so close to me in proximity before… I thought he was going to poke me with his tiny beak he was so close… :)* … hummingbirds are such beautiful birdies… so soft and delicate… fast and furious… I love them very much… one of my favorite creatures of the air… I grabbed my camera and caught a picture of him mid-air hovering above me… strange I thought… blessed…
The pool was brisk and refreshing… I love swimming pools… I sat and read for a bit… then I visited the pool house… on my way into the pool house, I wondered to myself where I might spot the heart shapes today… the rainbow was pretty intense… not to mention the hummingbird… I wondered if there would be any additional love signs today at all as a result… then… in a moment, as I entered the wash room to rinse my face, I turned around for a towel and right there in front of me… the answer… a heart shape in the chair immediately greeting me. :) again… I am humbled… I dive back into the pool and float around like a child… completely enjoying the feel of the fresh sunshine on my face, and weightlessness of the water cradling me… I feel completely in the moment… completely at peace… as I look up… love is in the air too… heart shaped clouds… how fun I giggle to myself! Love wins.
Next stop… the beach house… we arrive at this small piece of paradise… a quick walk through the restaurant… to the beach… I’m speechless… I have a nine mile stretch of beach all to myself… now I feel a bit foolish that I slept and wept away my afternoon the day prior when I could have been laying by the ocean here… but, “Everything in its time,” I remind myself… "everything has its time, place and reason…" I arrange my lounge chair on the beach… take a swim in the beautiful shallow turquoise waters… I am completely humbled… again…
I enjoyed learning about the background and history of how this beach house came to be… it is truly special… it is indeed the proverbial pot of gold that encompasses one end of the rainbow! I take a cocktail for the beach… two hours later I am sunkissed and ready for something to eat…
Lobster and wine for lunch… okay… for a girl who has abandoned drinking for the past few weeks… this is all really hitting me pretty strong… tasty though…
I wander back off to the beach to body surf and enjoy the afternoon lounging… all by myself on the beach… it is amazing!!! Complete solitude… then… stinging sensations… is it the noseeums, the sand, the breeze in conjunction with the sand???… Nope, sunkissed skin… a little too much sunkissing though… I walk along the beach a bit… knelt down to find a heart shaped fossil… I kiss it and place it in my pocket… back to my lounge I notice yet another heart shape… this time a sweet little rock… I scoop it up, kiss it, and place it in my pocket… how wonderful! Love wins! I pack up my belongings and venture back to my new favorite place in beach earth… The Peninsula House Beach Club… new acquaintances… lovely people filled the place with laughter, joy and love… heaven on earth!
As the taxi driver began driving me out of town I couldn't help but notice the huge potholes in the roads… likely the result of recent nightly rainfalls… we climbed hill after hill… it was pretty crazy… after some spastic corners and climbs… we reached the gate to The Peninsula House… they buzzed us in and then the real curves and turns began… the driveway was a wonderful curvy road with a side gulch for rain to run down the hill… it was interesting, filled with steep angles that the taxi driver had to maneuver through… and then whew, suddenly out of nowhere around the final bend… the most beautiful house I’ve laid eyes on!!!
I exited the taxi and was immediately greeted by two of the most beautiful dogs… they were Rhodesian Ridgebacks… just gorgeous… and alongside them... two absolutely beautiful men in gorgeous white linen! Wow, I thought I had just exited the plane and landed on fantasy island! ;) … then there was Puppy Monster… a local breed puppy-ish playful doggie who also made a point to come up to me and say hello… he too… beautiful… but, his beauty lies mostly within… Thomas, the owner of the house shared with me the story of how he found Puppy Monster in the road on new years last year. He said he seen something strange in the road, but thought in no way could it be a dog... maybe a huge spider or something... he investigated anyway... there was Puppy... he scooped him up and gave him a new home at The Peninsula House...
There are many local wild dogs that litter the island… it is quite sad really… when I passed through town and milled on the beaches… the doggies wandered about… such sadness in their faces and eyes… I felt very sad for them… but hugged and kissed them none-the-less :)*
“Puppy” monster hit a soft spot with me immediately… he made me feel very happy and less sad about being so homesick and away from my beloved Chico, miniature pincher, who makes me smile with unconditional love and loyalty… I was missing him terribly.
Once greeted properly by all three doggies... I took a brief tour of the Peninsula House… it was gorgeous… I described it to my mom as…
"If you were to build me a life-size doll house; specifically designed for me... this is what it would look like!" ... inside and out... it is absolutely perfect!!!
I retired to my room… it was perfectly decorated for me! I was feeling very morose… here I was surrounded by the most incredible beauty and serenity… but, still life carries on… and the reality of this weekend marked my 'would be' 14th year wedding anniversary… a memory that shines brightly til this day… I was sad… my room became my refuge… I could no longer hold back tears as I closed the doors to the veranda outside the room and settled in for an dreamy afternoon nap… I cried myself to sleep… sad, wasted tears littered my pillow… I dreamed…
I awoke a couple hours later… opened the doors of my room… the light breeze and fresh air was magical! I ventured out of my room and made my way to the main floor veranda… the furniture, plants, paintings, music, décor… was all out of a dream itself… a bit of an antique and interior decorator myself, I thought it was absolutely splendid!!! I walked around the house and entertained myself with each and every little detail that illuminated my presence… little framed photographs in the library caught my direct attention… they were so simple… so lovely... I thought… these are the people who this house honors…
I lingered back outside to the veranda… again… the men in white… beautiful… this place is so serene and awe-inspiring… literally took my breath away… and I was struggling to hold back the tears… I was sad that I couldn’t share this moment with someone special… here I was all alone in complete paradise… encompassed in an environment that leaves you with nothing but the notion of contemplating your life… a place that gives you the opportunity to wipe the slate clean… but, it was painful to succumb to this reality and enjoy it completely… the reality that it was only me… a moment and time for me to face my thoughts, failures, loneliness all by myself… my thoughts being that which was sharing this most escapist encounter…
I ventured out onto the property to find a secluded lounge and read a book… I began reading…
This phrase stood out from the book… I underlined it…
“Faith is about doing. You are how you act, not just how you believe."
Fitting for me and my thoughts of struggle right now in my life... I was in this mode of self condemnation… feeling very badly for my failures in life… and this single trip was taking it’s toll on me… then I read this…
“I asked if you felt they were perfect? (your parents)… of if they needed improvement…you said they weren’t perfect, but… they don’t need improvement… this is very insightful… do you know why? … because it means you are willing to accept people as they are… nobody is perfect… that’s okay… “May the Lord cause his countenance to shine upon you…” So now I am blessed, the Lord shines on me…
I looked out over the land in front of me and below… "I got it!" I felt God’s presence and forgiveness… however, I still could not accept it… I began to cry… and just at that moment… from out of nowhere… Puppy Monster charges up to me, lays his sweet arms over my legs and licks away the tears on my face… I am taken back… humbled… I kissed his beautiful little face… hugged him tight… he stayed there for a few more seconds… then, as if he knew he had done what he came to do… he charged back up to the house…
There is such sweetness the sincere telepathy of animals... and how they just know when you are sad... and are able to make you feel better... I felt blessed! I turned around and took some snapshots… the sunshine was beautiful through the trees… day was dawning…
… to be continued.
“The only tyrant I accept in this world is the still voice within.” – Mohandas Gandhi
planes… I arrived in Flint, MI by car with 10 minutes to check email prior to boarding my flight to Atlanta, GA… in Atlanta I quickly hopped on the train…to tram me to the complete opposite end of the airport with no time to spare, and quickly boarded my connecting flight to Miami, FL… Once in Miami… I walked the airport horseshoe to sit for 10 minutes prior to boarding the 747 jet to the Dominica Republic…
Arriving in Santo Domingo, I was quickly picked up by the local airport transportation company, AERODOMCA. They were efficient and professional. As a stranger in a strange land, I had my reservations… but, I had come this far… it was in God’s hands now… The staff greeted me with a hand-made welcome sign bearing my name. Easy enough I thought… they escorted me through the airport. I felt like a celebrity being directed around… such special treatment. I didn’t even have to wait in any lines… they hustled me through the airport and autoshuttled me over to the airport hub where I immediately boarded a private small engine plane equipped with two very young pilots… cute too… ;) Okay I thought, here we go… it was beautiful! There was barely enough room for me and my carry-on bag in the back seat of the three seat plane. But, we all fit like bugs in a rug, and immediately took off for Las Terrenas.
Travel Tip: http://www.aerodomca.com/ … very much worth the extra $ for the private plane!
The area was beautifully capped with serene beaches, palm trees and beautiful countryside. The city of Las Terrenas itself, was a different invitation into a culture and lifestyle I had not been exposed to before. I took a taxi to arrive at The Peninsula House, and made my way through town. My taxi driver who's family owned much property in the immediate area, was very proud of his family and his house (which I must say, was one of the best homes in the area). He gave me a complete guided tour through town… a very pleasant and kind fellow. I felt grateful for him and his sense of accomplishment/pride. I was very grateful for having the blessing of meeting him, feeling and knowing his joy “of country and home” through his eyes, smiles, and heartfelt love.
Photograph: Pot hole in the road; Las Terrenas, Dominican Republic
A Charmed Life
I’ve traveled previously to various out-of-the-way places in the Caribbean. However, this trip seemed to open my eyes up a little more clearly as each far off place normally tends to do with me… The more I experience, the more I see… the more I see… the more grateful I am for my charmed life.
I’ve seen some interesting people, cultures, places and living structures. One of the first places I visited in the Caribbean was Cozumel and Cancun. Beyond overabundance of bartering, they were mostly filled with tourists packed on a peninsula littered with cookie cutter designed resorts where the less enthusiastic and unadventurous tourists can simply drink their vacation away instead of expanding their brain with the culture and history that surrounds them.
I then traveled the land of Aruba. Beautiful, fairly, if for only that one incident, very safe. You could cover the island quickly and in your very own rented jeep. I must say, I was a bit bored after a few days of taking in what there was to see from a tourist’s perspective… Still, it was beautiful. Culture was a bit different. The only thing that really made an impression was that it was dirty in places, and the cemeteries were strange in that they were running out of places to bury their dead. Beyond that, the island was alright. Not too unfortunate of a land to dwell in. I enjoyed the trip, but don’t see a reason to travel back there any time soon.
From Aruba… came my next trip to Jamaica… you know the song… "Aruba, Jamaica… ohhh I wanna take ya… to… Bermuda…" yes, anyway… that is the line up as it would come to fruition for me…
Jamaica greeted me with a marijuana offering after barely stepping off the plane… Welcome to Jamaica Mon! I took a bus/taxi from Montego Bay to Negril. We traveled a long stretch along the island’s shoreline occasionally littered with tiny huts; servicing residents of the island as homes of what would be considered the ‘homeless’ in my land of origin. We traveled through small villages where the children were dressed in school uniforms, hair braided and tied back neatly… all stood in formation and followed direction of a head master. It all seemed very structured and a little harsh. Clearly less fortunate than the USA childhood schoolyards. And thought it was not the ideal way of living, it wasn’t absolutely decrepit. There were housing structures, villages, and schools. Again though, I thought this is not exactly a place I would like to live in. It did not have the modern conveniences of America, the home of the free.
My next jaunt was to Bimini Island which crests the west tip of the Bermuda triangle in the Bahamas. This was a much smaller island than Aruba or Jamaica, but it still had much to be desired when you consider living standards and overall quality of life.
My most recent stop in the Dominica Republic was much different. I know there are parts of this land that are completely barren and where residents balance their lives in their hands with treacherous living conditions. I was in a “good” part of the island, Las Terrenas. I traveled there in a small three seat plane. The area was beautifully capped with serene beaches, but the city of Las Terrenas itself, was a different invitation into a culture and lifestyle I had not been exposed to before.
Babies, who could only barely be five years old carried babies under 12 months. Mud littered the streets and children walked wild through the town’s side streets in conjunction with the wild dogs that litter the land. It is a new picture of how people live in this world. Not the worst by far, but so much to be desired. The area is toiled with dilapidated buildings and dwellings. It was dirty, muddy with narrow roads filled with deep potholes and gulches that could swallow a small family whole.
As I made my way through town, my taxi driver who owned much property in the immediate area, was was very proud of his family and his house (which I must say, was one of the best homes in the entire area), gave me the complete guided tour. He was so pleasant and kind. He was very happy. He doesn’t know any other way of lifestyle. This is his home and his land. I felt grateful for him and his sense of accomplishment/pride. I was very grateful for having the blessing of meeting him, feeling and knowing his joy “of country and home” through his eyes, smiles, and heartfelt love.
While I sat at a upscale bar/restaurant located outside of town enjoying my posh chair and surrounds, equipped with my beautiful martini cocktail, a young girl came skipping in. She was very pretty, fun playful hair and dressed in island attire. At first I was very happy to smile alongside her. And within a moment the honesty of her visit came through. She was most possibly a local prostitute. I was shocked at first. She wanted me to buy her a drink??? What else was she being so nice to me for??? I shivered… my naivety came spilling out like the drink almost did in my mouth at the wakefulness to the whole incident. Wow, that is crazy I thought. Then a friend next to me simply, nonchalantly said that, “Why yes. She might very well be a prostitute. She probably has three to five children that she is trying to take care of.”
This statement was so unemotional and matter-of-fact. Here I was feeling a bit disgusted, but primarily very sympathetic and sorry for the girl… then sorry for her children… I was filled with emotion regarding the entire scenario. I thought how strange, and how blessed I am to live in a place where prostitution is not organically such a casual thing of survival for the immediate community. There are no McDonalds or Buger Kings for them to flip burgers at in effort to put food on the family table. Wow, a real slap of reality. Secretly as I sat there, I thought to myself... I wanted to go home immediately.
I am so naive. Yes, indeed I am. Thank God! I am a sheltered Midwestern American girl from a 60 acre farm in the middle of nowhere, Michigan. Thank God. I am blessed to live in a small town where there isn't a need for a man to sit outside my window, door, and home with a gun 24/7 for protection. Where as a child my only concerns growing up included playing in mud puddles or making mud pies and cookies after a summer rainfall… Not lugging my little brother around in my arms to take care of him while my mother was off doing God-only-knows-what in order to keep me alive.
No, my brother and I had fun and played hide-n-seek with each other in the cornfield or barn loft… we did not have to raise each other… we were busy being a kid… not raising one. My mom was a stay-at-home mom; not off during the day soliciting services. I am so blessed to grow up in a one-room country schoolhouse… my siblings and neighbors being my best friends… still to this day! (Janel & Jenny)
I pray that I never lose sight of the beauty and truly “Norman Rockwell” life that I had growing up as a child in middle rural Michigan. I admit that at times, I’ve cursed that lifestyle and complained about the boredom… but, now my eyes have been opened. Perhaps this is my Christmas gift this year. To have this opportunity to see with my eyes wide open… hear with my eyes… see with my heart… how truly blessed I am in my beautiful, sheltered, naive, wonderful, amazing, mid-western, all-american-girl, charmed life!
I send up a prayer for all of those so less fortunate.
