three dog night…

The Peninsula House Diaries...

continued…

As the taxi driver began driving me out of town I couldn't help but notice the huge potholes in the roads… likely the result of recent nightly rainfalls… we climbed hill after hill… it was pretty crazy… after some spastic corners and climbs… we reached the gate to The Peninsula House…  they buzzed us in and then the real curves and turns began… the driveway was a wonderful curvy road with a side gulch for rain to run down the hill… it was interesting, filled with steep angles that the taxi driver had to maneuver through… and then whew, suddenly out of nowhere around the final bend… the most beautiful house I’ve laid eyes on!!!

I exited the taxi and was immediately greeted by two of the most beautiful dogs… they were Rhodesian Ridgebacks… just gorgeous… and alongside them... two absolutely beautiful men in gorgeous white linen! Wow, I thought I had just exited the plane and landed on fantasy island! ;) … then there was Puppy Monster… a local breed puppy-ish playful doggie who also made a point to come up to me and say hello… he too… beautiful… but, his beauty lies mostly within… Thomas, the owner of the house shared with me the story of how he found Puppy Monster in the road on new years last year. He said he seen something strange in the road, but thought in no way could it be a dog... maybe a huge spider or something... he investigated anyway... there was Puppy... he scooped him up and gave him a new home at The Peninsula House...

There are many local wild dogs that litter the island… it is quite sad really… when I passed through town and milled on the beaches… the doggies wandered about… such sadness in their faces and eyes… I felt very sad for them… but hugged and kissed them none-the-less :)*


“Puppy” monster hit a soft spot with me immediately… he made me feel very happy and less sad about being so homesick and away from my beloved Chico, miniature pincher, who makes me smile with unconditional love and loyalty… I was missing him terribly.

Once greeted properly by all three doggies... I took a brief tour of the Peninsula House… it was gorgeous… I described it to my mom as…

"If you were to build me a life-size doll house; specifically designed for me... this is what it would look like!" ... inside and out... it is absolutely perfect!!!

I retired to my room… it was perfectly decorated for me! I was feeling very morose… here I was surrounded by the most incredible beauty and serenity… but, still life carries on… and the reality of this weekend marked my 'would be' 14th year wedding anniversary… a memory that shines brightly til this day… I was sad… my room became my refuge… I could no longer hold back tears as I closed the doors to the veranda outside the room and settled in for an dreamy afternoon nap… I cried myself to sleep… sad, wasted tears littered my pillow… I dreamed…

I awoke a couple hours later… opened the doors of my room… the light breeze and fresh air was magical! I ventured out of my room and made my way to the main floor veranda…  the furniture, plants, paintings, music, décor… was all out of a dream itself… a bit of an antique and interior decorator myself, I thought it was absolutely splendid!!! I walked around the house and entertained myself with each and every little detail that illuminated my presence… little framed photographs in the library caught my direct attention… they were so simple… so lovely... I thought… these are the people who this house honors…

I lingered back outside to the veranda… again… the men in white… beautiful… this place is so serene and awe-inspiring… literally took my breath away… and I was struggling to hold back the tears… I was sad that I couldn’t share this moment with someone special… here I was all alone in complete paradise… encompassed in an environment that leaves you with nothing but the notion of contemplating your life…  a place that gives you the opportunity to wipe the slate clean… but, it was painful to succumb to this reality and enjoy it completely… the reality that it was only me… a moment and time for me to face my thoughts, failures, loneliness all by myself… my thoughts being that which was sharing this most escapist encounter…

I ventured out onto the property to find a secluded lounge and read a book… I began reading…

This phrase stood out from the book… I underlined it…

“Faith is about doing. You are how you act, not just how you believe."

Fitting for me and my thoughts of struggle right now in my life... I was in this mode of self condemnation… feeling very badly for my failures in life… and this single trip was taking it’s toll on me… then I read this…

“I asked if you felt they were perfect? (your parents)… of if they needed improvement…you said they weren’t perfect, but… they don’t need improvement… this is very insightful… do you know why? … because it means you are willing to accept people as they are… nobody is perfect… that’s okay… “May the Lord cause his countenance to shine upon you…” So now I am blessed, the Lord shines on me…

I looked out over the land in front of me and below… "I got it!" I felt God’s presence and forgiveness… however, I still could not accept it… I began to cry… and just at that moment… from out of nowhere… Puppy Monster charges up to me, lays his sweet arms over my legs and licks away the tears on my face… I am taken back… humbled… I kissed his beautiful little face… hugged him tight… he stayed there for a few more seconds… then, as if he knew he had done what he came to do… he charged back up to the house…


There is such sweetness the sincere telepathy of animals... and how they just know when you are sad... and are able to make you feel better... I felt blessed! I turned around and took some snapshots… the sunshine was beautiful through the trees… day was dawning…

… to be continued.

“The only tyrant I accept in this world is the still voice within.” – Mohandas Gandhi

Love wins.

j. marshon

p.s. see additional photographs of this day here... http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=136133&id=539347752&saved#/photo.php?pid=3401064&id=539347752

planes, trains & automobiles...

The Peninsula House Diaries...

planes… I arrived in Flint, MI by car with 10 minutes to check email prior to boarding my flight to Atlanta, GA… in Atlanta I quickly hopped on the train… to tram me to the complete opposite end of the airport with no time to spare, and quickly boarded my connecting flight to Miami, FL… Once in Miami… I walked the airport horseshoe to sit for 10 minutes prior to boarding the 747 jet to the Dominica Republic…

Arriving in Santo Domingo, I was quickly picked up by the local airport transportation company, AERODOMCA. They were efficient and professional. As a stranger in a strange land, I had my reservations… but, I had come this far… it was in God’s hands now… The staff greeted me with a hand-made welcome sign bearing my name. Easy enough I thought… they escorted me through the airport. I felt like a celebrity being directed around… such special treatment. I didn’t even have to wait in any lines… they hustled me through the airport and auto shuttled me over to the airport hub where I immediately boarded a private small engine plane equipped with two very young pilots… cute too… ;) Okay I thought, here we go… it was beautiful!  There was barely enough room for me and my carry-on bag in the back seat of the three seat plane. But, we all fit like bugs in a rug, and immediately took off for Las Terrenas.

Travel Tip: http://www.aerodomca.com/ … very much worth the extra $ for the private plane!

The area was beautifully capped with serene beaches, palm trees and beautiful countryside. The city of Las Terrenas itself, was a different invitation into a culture and lifestyle I had not been exposed to before. I took a taxi to arrive at The Peninsula House, and made my way through town. My taxi driver who's family owned much property in the immediate area, was very proud of his family and his house (which I must say, was one of the best homes in the area). He gave me a complete guided tour through town… a very pleasant and kind fellow. I felt grateful for him and his sense of accomplishment/pride. I was very grateful for having the blessing of meeting him, feeling and knowing his joy “of country and home” through his eyes, smiles, and heartfelt love.

... to be continued...

Love wins!
jillY

p.s. see the complete peninsula house diaries photo album here: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=136133&id=539347752&saved#/album.php?aid=136133&id=539347752

A Charmed Life

Photograph: Pot hole in the road; Las Terrenas, Dominican Republic

A Charmed Life

I’ve traveled previously to various out-of-the-way places in the Caribbean. However, this trip seemed to open my eyes up a little more clearly as each far off place normally tends to do with me… The more I experience, the more I see… the more I see… the more grateful I am for my charmed life.

I’ve seen some interesting people, cultures, places and living structures. One of the first places I visited in the Caribbean was Cozumel and Cancun. Beyond overabundance of bartering, they were mostly filled with tourists packed on a peninsula littered with cookie cutter designed resorts where the less enthusiastic and unadventurous tourists can simply drink their vacation away instead of expanding their brain with the culture and history that surrounds them.

I then traveled the land of Aruba. Beautiful, fairly, if for only that one incident, very safe. You could cover the island quickly and in your very own rented jeep. I must say, I was a bit bored after a few days of taking in what there was to see from a tourist’s perspective… Still, it was beautiful. Culture was a bit different. The only thing that really made an impression was that it was dirty in places, and the cemeteries were strange in that they were running out of places to bury their dead. Beyond that, the island was alright. Not too unfortunate of a land to dwell in. I enjoyed the trip, but don’t see a reason to travel back there any time soon.

From Aruba… came my next trip to Jamaica… you know the song… "Aruba, Jamaica… ohhh I wanna take ya… to… Bermuda…" yes, anyway… that is the line up as it would come to fruition for me…

Jamaica greeted me with a marijuana offering after barely stepping off the plane… Welcome to Jamaica Mon! I took a bus/taxi from Montego Bay to Negril. We traveled a long stretch along the island’s shoreline occasionally littered with tiny huts; servicing residents of the island as homes of what would be considered the ‘homeless’ in my land of origin. We traveled through small villages where the children were dressed in school uniforms, hair braided and tied back neatly… all stood in formation and followed direction of a head master. It all seemed very structured and a little harsh. Clearly less fortunate than the USA childhood schoolyards. And thought it was not the ideal way of living, it wasn’t absolutely decrepit. There were housing structures, villages, and schools. Again though, I thought this is not exactly a place I would like to live in. It did not have the modern conveniences of America, the home of the free.

My next jaunt was to Bimini Island which crests the west tip of the Bermuda triangle in the Bahamas. This was a much smaller island than Aruba or Jamaica, but it still had much to be desired when you consider living standards and overall quality of life.

My most recent stop in the Dominica Republic was much different. I know there are parts of this land that are completely barren and where residents balance their lives in their hands with treacherous living conditions. I was in a “good” part of the island, Las Terrenas. I traveled there in a small three seat plane. The area was beautifully capped with serene beaches, but the city of Las Terrenas itself, was a different invitation into a culture and lifestyle I had not been exposed to before.

Babies, who could only barely be five years old carried babies under 12 months. Mud littered the streets and children walked wild through the town’s side streets in conjunction with the wild dogs that litter the land. It is a new picture of how people live in this world. Not the worst by far, but so much to be desired. The area is toiled with dilapidated buildings and dwellings. It was dirty, muddy with narrow roads filled with deep potholes and gulches that could swallow a small family whole.

As I made my way through town, my taxi driver who owned much property in the immediate area, was was very proud of his family and his house (which I must say, was one of the best homes in the entire area), gave me the complete guided tour. He was so pleasant and kind. He was very happy. He doesn’t know any other way of lifestyle. This is his home and his land. I felt grateful for him and his sense of accomplishment/pride. I was very grateful for having the blessing of meeting him, feeling and knowing his joy “of country and home” through his eyes, smiles, and heartfelt love.

While I sat at a upscale bar/restaurant located outside of town enjoying my posh chair and surrounds, equipped with my beautiful martini cocktail, a young girl came skipping in. She was very pretty, fun playful hair and dressed in island attire. At first I was very happy to smile alongside her. And within a moment the honesty of her visit came through. She was most possibly a local prostitute. I was shocked at first. She wanted me to buy her a drink??? What else was she being so nice to me for??? I shivered… my naivety came spilling out like the drink almost did in my mouth at the wakefulness to the whole incident. Wow, that is crazy I thought. Then a friend next to me simply, nonchalantly said that, “Why yes. She might very well be a prostitute. She probably has three to five children that she is trying to take care of.”

This statement was so unemotional and matter-of-fact. Here I was feeling a bit disgusted, but primarily very sympathetic and sorry for the girl… then sorry for her children… I was filled with emotion regarding the entire scenario. I thought how strange, and how blessed I am to live in a place where prostitution is not organically such a casual thing of survival for the immediate community. There are no McDonalds or Buger Kings for them to flip burgers at in effort to put food on the family table. Wow, a real slap of reality. Secretly as I sat there, I thought to myself... I wanted to go home immediately.

I am so naive. Yes, indeed I am. Thank God! I am a sheltered Midwestern American girl from a 60 acre farm in the middle of nowhere, Michigan. Thank God. I am blessed to live in a small town where there isn't a need for a man to sit outside my window, door, and home with a gun 24/7 for protection. Where as a child my only concerns growing up included playing in mud puddles or making mud pies and cookies after a summer rainfall… Not lugging my little brother around in my arms to take care of him while my mother was off doing God-only-knows-what in order to keep me alive.

No, my brother and I had fun and played hide-n-seek with each other in the cornfield or barn loft… we did not have to raise each other… we were busy being a kid… not raising one. My mom was a stay-at-home mom; not off during the day soliciting services. I am so blessed to grow up in a one-room country schoolhouse… my siblings and neighbors being my best friends… still to this day! (Janel & Jenny)

I pray that I never lose sight of the beauty and truly “Norman Rockwell” life that I had growing up as a child in middle rural Michigan. I admit that at times, I’ve cursed that lifestyle and complained about the boredom… but, now my eyes have been opened. Perhaps this is my Christmas gift this year. To have this opportunity to see with my eyes wide open… hear with my eyes… see with my heart… how truly blessed I am in my beautiful, sheltered, naive, wonderful, amazing, mid-western, all-american-girl, charmed life!

I send up a prayer for all of those so less fortunate.

Love wins.

Jill Marshon

Bimini Love

Bimini; Mystery Island - All that Lies Above Atlantis…

I love Bimini for many of its recognizable and blatant beauty secrets including the ever-refreshing and intoxicating turquoise blue waters brilliantly placed alongside extensive soothing white sandy beaches. However, what I find most admirable and consuming about this island, is the natural phenomenon and unsolved mysteries encompassed within its small stretch of land we reference as Bimini Island.

Bimini’s beauty and uncensored peaceful core holds the true underlying secrets of the island’s mystery and sheer allure. Perhaps this land holds the most pertinent sacred secrets of all time. There are many fantastic facts this beautiful paradise holds within its small nooks and crannies as it sit so serenely along the tip of the Bermuda triangle, located only 40 miles into the ocean off Florida’s gold coast.

Perhaps Bimini's perch actually holds the key that unlocks all of the most fascinating, unexplainable and memorizing sea star secrets of The Lost Continent of Atlantis? Or the explanation to the cause and implications denounced as Bermuda Triangle. Bimini may just be the tip of the vortex of the universe. In my opinion it doesn’t just host the Fountain of Youth, it is the source to my fountain of youth!

It holds a strange exuberance that enlightens my world when I am immersed in the island’s beauty and grand scales of mystery… all that is… my Bimini…

I stepped on this land and was immediately taken! A quick signature and I was off island bound on a golf cart. Onward I directed my partner in crime as we made our jaunt to the end of the island… looking out over the waters of Paradise Point, I could only spy a few fins perking up out of the ocean waves… “Out there lies the road to Atlantis,” I whispered to myself… I relished in the shallow waters and enjoyed a moment of serene island relaxation. A washed up boat lie alongside the very far north end of the island. I wondered how it came to land in it’s final resting place… perhaps a hurricane, drug runners or the unfathomed plight of Devil’s Triangle… the lonely boat remains a mystery to me…

Venturing into town, I grab a bite at the local favorite eatery… fried lobster and Kaliks to please the pallet… perfectly! “All aboard,” I jumped at the quick invitation to snorkel the Road to Bimini… Kaliks in hand… on my way I went…

The Lost City of Atlantis is believed concealed below the shallow waters off of Bimini. Upon my first visit to Bimini, the Bimini Road was a sure “must see!” I dove in uber excited to experience this mystery first hand. Amazing peace filled my soul once down in the depths admiring the strange rock formations. I had to keep reminding myself to go back up to the surface for air. It was magical. I could have followed those rocks forever. Beauty and peace surrounded me and my soul felt like it was at home. A sea star greeted me along the rocks on the ocean floor below me. The sun streamed reflective and brilliant rays in the waters around me cradling me like angels. A most fascinating experience for certain that I can still feel to this day. I have a fossil I scooped from the depths of the rocky road. It is a heart-shaped fossil rock… and one of my most cherished possessions from the island.

I read about Edgar Cayce, the famous prophesier of the 1900's who predicted that evidence of the lost continent of Atlantis would materialize around 1968-1969 in the Bahamas. And how in 1968 a pilot discovered and photographed structures that looked like buildings, blocks, stone circles, walls and roads on the sea bed beneath Bimini island waters… the formation now referenced as Bimini Road and the mystery to the lost continent of Atlantis remains… I must admit after experiencing the road personally; there is more to those rock formations than meets the eye.

This is not the only magnificent discovery within the beautiful island world of Bimini. This island may just be the prescription that beholds the meaning of life and secrets of immortality in the The fountain of Youth. It is believed that the Fountain of Youth is located in the ocean passage between North and South Bimini. There is also the healing hole which draws many to dip in the waters hoping for health and cures. I attempted to find the “actual, authentic fountain of youth" I drove as far as the road would take me… but decided it wasn't worth risking my current life by trampling through a jungle or any possible drug trafficking franchises to discover it… I do want to go back… maybe next time with a guide though, so I can truly find the actual location also reportedly frequented by the greatness of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

Following my failed attempt of finding the “actual/authentic” Fountain of Youth, I decided to belly up to one of Hemingway’s past dwellings. I enjoyed my very own independently guided tour hosted by myself, of The Compleat Angler. I photographed all of the rooms prior to it’s demise and ill fated fire that took the building and all the beautiful artifacts alongside. I truly enjoyed my tour of this small, wonderfully quaint hotel that was a cultural landmark and favorite haunt of American writer Ernest Hemingway on Bimini. It burnt to the ground in 2006 taking with it the owner and all of the Hemingway artifacts, photos and memorabilia – very, very, sad! – a really special place to have been blessed to visit.

Next stop on the island, the beaches... the bars... sporting my bikini... of course ;) I drank it all in... this amazing place called Bimini Island. There are so many fun places to visit and locals to chat with on this island. I adore every one of the amazing features that reside on such a small piece of world we call Bimini… I also love that this beautiful island is still unstirred by mega tourists…

I believe that perhaps the greatest mystery I’ve yet to solve and unlock about Bimini is more personal… Bimini somehow holds the key to my inner heart… opening the door to complete peace, love and happiness… Caribbean Living Style! There is so much about Bimini to love…

Love wins.

J. Marshon

not quite me

not quite me

“… there's a million of us just like me… who dress like me; walk, talk and act like me… and just might be the next best thing… but not quite me!” - m. mathers

maybe you can convince yourself that she is the next best thing… and, she probably is… the next best thing… that is… next to me…

for you know… there is no replacing “me”…

… I am significantly different from anyone you have ever known… heard of… dreamed of… seen… or will ever know again…

I can say this with true confidence and sincerity…

… you will never know someone who sees the world through the same rose colored glasses as I do… who loves with abandon… who beholds such genuinely unique traits…

… there is no comparing me to any other of this world…

… I march to different beat…

… and travel a completely different road…

… so be it

- j. marshon

lost at sea...

lost at sea...

The most difficult thing about divorce is the lonesomeness that follows… the entirety of the relationship… when all is said and done… when there is nothing left to say… all that remains fills your every waking hour in horror stifling stillness… no one person can fill this unrelenting emptiness that accompanies such an event… absolutely no one thing fills the void… the loneliness that follows is painstakingly sad and surreal… there is nothing left to hold onto… not one person anywhere who you can talk to that can completely comprehend and understand what you are thinking, feeling, and enduring… it is a loss unlike anything before… worse than a death, because you are still alive dealing with this abandonment… in death there is burial… acceptance seems ever unavailing… I wish this upon no one… I am grasping for air… fervently reaching out to hold onto anything… instead I find absolutely nothing… I’m drowning… in a sea of tears…

They say… "it happens every day…" but, not every day to me…

I am so alone in this storm... this wave encompassing my everliving fears...

How do you picture life?

“… we don’t see things as they are… we see them as we are.” - a. nin

HOW DO YOU PICTURE LIFE? … what image comes to mind when asked that question?

… THAT image… is your life metaphor… it’s the view of life that you hold consciously or unconsciously, in your mind. It is your description of how life works and what you expect from it. Your unspoken life metaphor influences your life… and defines your expectations, values, relationships, goals and priorities…

My life’s metaphor is a symbol my ex husband, Tim, and I found a year after our marriage when we revisited our honeymoon destination in Florida. The emblem is significant because while on our honeymoon we visited a different beach each day. Our wedding DJ actually recommended a variety of places to visit, and the one he recommend best was where we encountered and swam with three dolphins in the water. It was surreal and precious… a memory and moment that remains with us forever…

My life's metaphor image is that of three dolphins swimming in a continuous circle around a subtle yin-yang symbol. The design is very beautiful, flowing, and well articulated in pewter... it exemplifies the element of water…

The picture is a beautiful reminder and symbol of our wedding, friendship and love… but, there are many further implications and components that make this piece so precious to me… why it is indeed my life's metaphor...

... three is my favorite number…

... I am Aquarius, born in the sign of water… I am also very spiritual... I believe in the Holy Trinity... Father, Son and Holy Spirit… and that all things bleed into one... one source of energy when we die... that source of energy... the trinity... I believe that the Father, Son and Holy Spirit are are always freely flowing around us in all that we do… a continuous loop of love… surrounding us with their protection and love… As a human being I believe that there is always good and bad to life on earth… the middle of the image is round shaped… like the earth… good times and bad will always be present in our lives… but, we are always protected by the trinity.

... the round shape in the center forms that of the yin-yang symbol... Tim and I were constantly enamored by the yin-yang symbol throughout our college years... we loved the philosophical implications that it holds true to and gives merit of... the symbol often brought great discussions and encouraged self-seeking/soul searching thoughts... the implication of good and bad is beautiful and elegantly depicted in the center of the image's design...

Another view of the piece that I have to wonder about are the three dolphins themselves… perhaps Tim and I were only meant to be a part of each other’s lives for a limited amount of time… as the Bible indicates, we are not to grow too attached to any one thing or person… that God has a plan for us… the dolphins’ form conjures up the notion of ‘the circle of life…” a continuous flowing beautiful natural circle…

I can’t begin to explain why our marriage did not last and why we separated… so many times I feel as if the entire situation was completely out of my hands… and now, more than ever I feel this way… I just can’t make it go away or make it right… it just is happening and it is a sad situation… perhaps good too… perhaps Tim and I will both find another soul in our lives to complete the circle of life that the dolphins indicatively swim in pattern of…

My life metaphor image could mean a variety of things. It keeps my mind ever open to God’s plan… I have to constantly remind myself that faith, hope and love ARE the good things he gives us… and the greatest is LOVE… to continue to love no matter what or how the earth turns and elements change among and around us… and to know that we are always protected and surrounded by the almighty.

A portion that I found interesting in my readings of “The Purpose Driven Life” includes the following statement… which is also a self motto that I try to live my life by and remain true to…

“… do not conform yourselves to the standards of this world, but let God transform you inwardly by a complete change of your mind… God’s view of life is that it is a test, a trust and a temporary assignment… he tests our faith through problems, our hope by how we handle possessions and our love through people…”

... three important tests… faith, hope and love...

... three tests executed through trials and tribulations of good and bad...

one world...

one love...

- j. marshon