How do you picture life?

“… we don’t see things as they are… we see them as we are.” - a. nin

HOW DO YOU PICTURE LIFE? … what image comes to mind when asked that question?

… THAT image… is your life metaphor… it’s the view of life that you hold consciously or unconsciously, in your mind. It is your description of how life works and what you expect from it. Your unspoken life metaphor influences your life… and defines your expectations, values, relationships, goals and priorities…

My life’s metaphor is a symbol my ex husband, Tim, and I found a year after our marriage when we revisited our honeymoon destination in Florida. The emblem is significant because while on our honeymoon we visited a different beach each day. Our wedding DJ actually recommended a variety of places to visit, and the one he recommend best was where we encountered and swam with three dolphins in the water. It was surreal and precious… a memory and moment that remains with us forever…

My life's metaphor image is that of three dolphins swimming in a continuous circle around a subtle yin-yang symbol. The design is very beautiful, flowing, and well articulated in pewter... it exemplifies the element of water…

The picture is a beautiful reminder and symbol of our wedding, friendship and love… but, there are many further implications and components that make this piece so precious to me… why it is indeed my life's metaphor...

... three is my favorite number…

... I am Aquarius, born in the sign of water… I am also very spiritual... I believe in the Holy Trinity... Father, Son and Holy Spirit… and that all things bleed into one... one source of energy when we die... that source of energy... the trinity... I believe that the Father, Son and Holy Spirit are are always freely flowing around us in all that we do… a continuous loop of love… surrounding us with their protection and love… As a human being I believe that there is always good and bad to life on earth… the middle of the image is round shaped… like the earth… good times and bad will always be present in our lives… but, we are always protected by the trinity.

... the round shape in the center forms that of the yin-yang symbol... Tim and I were constantly enamored by the yin-yang symbol throughout our college years... we loved the philosophical implications that it holds true to and gives merit of... the symbol often brought great discussions and encouraged self-seeking/soul searching thoughts... the implication of good and bad is beautiful and elegantly depicted in the center of the image's design...

Another view of the piece that I have to wonder about are the three dolphins themselves… perhaps Tim and I were only meant to be a part of each other’s lives for a limited amount of time… as the Bible indicates, we are not to grow too attached to any one thing or person… that God has a plan for us… the dolphins’ form conjures up the notion of ‘the circle of life…” a continuous flowing beautiful natural circle…

I can’t begin to explain why our marriage did not last and why we separated… so many times I feel as if the entire situation was completely out of my hands… and now, more than ever I feel this way… I just can’t make it go away or make it right… it just is happening and it is a sad situation… perhaps good too… perhaps Tim and I will both find another soul in our lives to complete the circle of life that the dolphins indicatively swim in pattern of…

My life metaphor image could mean a variety of things. It keeps my mind ever open to God’s plan… I have to constantly remind myself that faith, hope and love ARE the good things he gives us… and the greatest is LOVE… to continue to love no matter what or how the earth turns and elements change among and around us… and to know that we are always protected and surrounded by the almighty.

A portion that I found interesting in my readings of “The Purpose Driven Life” includes the following statement… which is also a self motto that I try to live my life by and remain true to…

“… do not conform yourselves to the standards of this world, but let God transform you inwardly by a complete change of your mind… God’s view of life is that it is a test, a trust and a temporary assignment… he tests our faith through problems, our hope by how we handle possessions and our love through people…”

... three important tests… faith, hope and love...

... three tests executed through trials and tribulations of good and bad...

one world...

one love...

- j. marshon

finding solomon

animal friends are amazing… I have been so blessed by my circus of animal friends accumulated over my life… they all hold a special and most amazing place in my heart…

zeek (ezekiel) was one of my favorites when i was a young girl… he followed me around everywhere… always alongside me as I practiced gymnastics, frolicked outside in the fields, and dreamed at night… always cuddled up close to me… he used to jump in my workout bag every day… such a beautiful siamese… sweet and opinionated cat… he was wonderful!!!

then one day to my heartbreaking dismay… I returned home from a week away at gymnastics camp to find nothing but an empty void… he wasn’t there… I called for him for hours… I searched the hillside fields… I cried myself to sleep in his missed presence… the only conclusion to be made… is that he wandered off in search of me… never to return home…

chico is my adoring adopted, rescued, miniature pincher… I acquired him four years ago from an online rescue mission for min pins… he is a most beautiful pedigreed… his former owner was a younger girl who did not have a lot of time to watch him and give him the attention he requires… the transition was hard for her, but she took much comfort in knowing how much I adore him and enjoy having him in my life… he isn’t the easiest of dogs… full of character and spunk… life and vigor!!! ... he can be very naughty and dangerously aggressive… we don’t allow him around small children… he bites and chases... not only children, but other dogs, anything furry... especially cats… some don’t seem to mind, some run for the hills…

chico has taken fairly well to my cat solomon (aka solly)… I rescued solly and fou from an online siamese rescue mission two years before getting chico… they have seniority… fou will not step foot in the same room as chico… while solly “tolerates” him… chico tries to play with solly as if he were another dog… doesn’t always work out very well for solly… chico tends to bite at him, but not too hard… chico knows he will get my wrath if anything happened to solly… chico also gets sweetly jealous of solly… it is silly... and darling to say the least regarding this interaction of dog/cat family…

with the warm weather approaching, my dad often sets chico outside on a chain so he can enjoy the sunshine and outdoor air while my dad works in his outbuildings… yesterday… was such a day… dad tied chico up securely and went off to do his chores…

unknowing to my dad, solly had slipped outside on his heels without detection… he set forth to make his escape into the wild… solly has no claws… he is a strictly an indoor cat… so him sneaking out the door was uncommon and not allowed! my dad was in the outbuildings for a good two hours, when he noticed on his way back toward the house, that chico had gotten free from his leash… dad searched the surrounding areas in panic! I constantly tell my dad to be very mindful of chico because it is miniature pincher's tendency to run away when set loose…

dad found them both... together… dog and cat alongside each other… solly was rolling around in the grass exploring the vast three acre lawn and treading toward the fields… there hovering over him like a father to a child, was a loose, chain-less chico… he had broken free from his leash to keep an eye on solomon… he had followed him all around the lawn for two hours…

it is amazing to me... the depth and love of our beloved animals... chico clearly knows how precious solly is to me… and that he had to monitor him and not allow him to wander away… i believe that animals are so much smarter than we give them credit for… they give us nothing but unconditional love… unmatched by any person on earth… I believe they are little angels sent from God alone...

what a blessing it is for me to come home to an adoring dog and a beautiful cat each day… they bark/meow and lick and kiss me every single time on arrival… they shimmy up to me each night to join me in my dreams… they are nothing short of pure, beautiful, perfect examples of loyalty and love! all are home... all is good... all is safe and sound... as long as they are around!

pet love wins! :)*

- j. marshon

spring cleaning

spring cleaning

I spent the first week of april vacuuming, rearranging furniture, dusting, organizing… placing the easter decorations in their familiar spaces… enjoying the moment… in the house… that was our home… delighting in that familiar and whimsical notion of family… joy swirled around me and my thoughts like the dust and kitty dander floating in the sun rays off the windowsill…

he came home from his business trip… but, there was so much more different about him than business travel wearing on his face… something different… someone…

my God… my heart sinks… I can hardly swallow… this is it… our ungodly hour…

I couldn’t breathe as I packed my clothes and hastily shoved, threw and scurried my final belongings into the car… tears uncontrollably pouring down my face… the dogs in chaos… one with me… one stays with him… a family… home… life… torn apart… forevermore…

I packed the rest up into boxes… clothes and t-shirts collected over the past 20 years… reminders of the fun times, places, people, things, experiences, smiles, love, friendship, loss, pain, regret, sadness, heartache… packed all in boxes… cleaning my life… all of these things, thoughts, moments, memories packed into a box for goodwill… for someone to open up and see my life of accumulated articles of clothing, trinkets, souvenirs…

my life… in a box…

I have nothing... he has the house... I have useless gadgets and furniture that only evokes tears… I pack it all away, out of sight… but, never out of thought…

how do I start over… I have no idea where to go… what to do… who I am… it is all packed into those boxes…

springing from the depths of the earth… I am just now starting to peek through the darkness into the light… so much time has been lost… I have to start anew from the beginning… again… at this stage in my life… I am a genuine soul… I am pure… untainted… innocent…

terrified…

to open the door... too... spring forward... 

- j. marshon