a Chinese buffet...

a Chinese buffet...

There has to be more to my day than Chinese buffet? I can’t believe this has become my life. That the only thing I actually did today that made me feel just a little bit pleasant was go outside, drive down the street, and indulge in the much-to-be-desired Chinese buffet.

The worst part… I wasn’t alone in my lonesome pitiful quest. There were others there when I arrived… sitting alone, gobbling down the chicken and/or whatever it is they deep fat fry up in the breading shelled giblets smothered in God-only-knows sauces.

I look around the small room, there is one worker up front who does all the reloading/checking of the hot plates… two gentlemen in the back that don’t speak a single node of English… and I wonder… how is it they came to be here? Here from a different country… not familiar with the English language, or life here in general… and then even more so… they are in cold-climate Michigan… tucked back in this pathetic narrow room aligned among the out-of-placed strip mall storefronts... that so few dare to venture…

I feel as though my whole life is passing me by as I stare out the window of this 6x9 room filled with a few tables and Chinese buffet… I am completely sapped, sad, and utterly alone…

My lost love dwells in another country half a world away... often wishing he could graze the Chinese buffet. They don’t have them in Poland. Strange, how one wishes for such undeserving cuisine… strange how such deserved love goes unraveled and abandoned within my being as I sit here next to the wanted mystery meat… I am the unwanted…

So many dismiss the most important things, and most abundant love available to them… that not available on the convenient Chinese buffet... tossing it aside in search for something more, better, brighter, younger, more convenient. But, what they don’t understand is that one rarely ever gets real joy and fulfillment from the full buffet... that which is more, better, brighter, younger, and more convenient...

… and, in the end, when all is said and done, there is no turning back. In the end, you wake up and have one of ‘those moments’ when all you can do is stare out the window and wonder to yourself… is this all that has become… this, all that I have accepted… that I have chosen… and indulged in… this; all that I have made my final decision upon… the sub-standardized buffet... is this really what’s best for me, best for my life, and best for my being…

… is this really chicken???


~ j. marshon