Living Out Loud

Living Out Loud

"I got my indignation, but I’m pure in all my thoughts… I’m alive…" E. Vedder

I live out loud… I live in the moment… it is God breathed choice. Please refrain from trying to ‘sush’ me… I will not be silent. I live much of my life trying to embrace my inner child… embracing the moment at hand and my surroundings. I get excited and amused by the ‘little’ things. I’m not rude, I just tend to be filled with a childlike awe. I refuse to act like an ‘adult’ just because you and/or society deem it so to be… deem it so, just because we attain a specific age, level or societal status.

We spend a good majority of our lives being ‘shushed’ by others. To some it is a control issue, others it is just that they don’t want to hear you – they are too wrapped up in themselves; and then there are others who don’t want to hear anything – they just want to be disclosed from as much as possible all together. That is not how I choose to live my life. I live out loud. I’m not obnoxious, just passionate and happy most of the time. I embrace the excitement of the moment and relish in the joy and positive chi that surrounds me. I apologize if this makes you uncomfortable, but I don’t apologize for being who I am.

I refuse to live a simple, quite existence.

I’ve been shushed way too many times… but, never by my parents…. They know who I am and do not limit me to expected mannerisms stigmatic of society’s norm. I can move… I can sit somewhere else… I will find different friends to hang out with… if I make you that uncomfortable. Why can’t you just accept me at face value? Yes, I am aware that I am loud at times… but I am also very quite and reserved most of the time.

What you don’t know… is that I actually don’t hear perfectly. A few years back I fell on a rock and was diagnosed with a severe concussion that caused equilibrium and balance problems. Earlier that same year, I had multiple visits to the doctor for unusual growths located in my inner ears. They wanted to operate and take them out, but I did not want to risk my hearing then… I am certain I don’t hear 100% perfectly. So, there is actual proof and truth to why I may be a bit louder than others in general… but I am not making this an excuse at all!!! Nope, I choose to live out loud, and not be and/or act like a mouse just because you might find my zest and youthfulness to be annoying at times.

Why do people care so much what others think about them? Do you realize that most people don’t even THINK about you AT ALL… nope, not even for a second? I know so many of my friends and family who always want everyone to be quiet… sushhhhhh. Most of these individuals have MAJOR control issues! I wish they could learn to just, ‘let it go.’ They are always so worried about what people will say, or worst… ‘think’ about them… When in reality, most people do not have a single thought about them. They don’t make the slightest impact on what other people think most of the time!

I know this, because I was once exactly like them… a ultra major control freak. I had to have everything and everyone in check. This behavior led to the destruction of my spirit, anxiety and depression. I vow to not allow myself be effected by anything and anyone so severely ever again. I mean think about it??? Who cares? Who really cares? I am very accepting of others because of this. I do have my moments of criticism though... I am human just like everyone else. But, I strive to be accepting, neutering, childlike in nature… so I can experience every moment of this life without holding back. This is how I choose to live in a land of freedom... how i truly receive the most from life in fastidious moments and surroundings… by being myself, being completely myself… my occasional goofy, funny, silly, happy, bold, elusive, live out loud self. :)

I am who I am… be as you are.

Love wins!

~ j. marshon