This Too Shall Pass

"This Too Shall Pass."

This year has been a very difficult time for me… well the last three years have much to be desired as a matter of fact. But, how long… how long will this continue to go on… I question myself. It becomes more severe as the days gain headway toward the holidays… another year in limbo… another year, no decorations, no faith, no joy to share with that special someone… I begin to sink into another depressive state… the likes of that which I haven’t allowed myself to fall victim to since earlier this year…

I spent the last week at my “home.” The house I designed and built with my ex-husband on the shores of Lake Michigan. It was wonderful to relax and be so free at home for that time. I knew this depression would follow… but I stayed there none the less with my pets and all too familiar surroundings. There is no way to prepare for the let down… the inevitable…

Reminded in my final day... repeatedly... that...
I CHOSE to leave that home…
I CHOSE to sign off on the house…
I CHOSE to give it all up…

I remind myself that i should CHOOSE to separate myself from there forever…

Last night, after struggling through the fourth day of a severe migraine headache in lieu of the separation from home and hearth …I recalled this quote;
“This too shall pass…”

There is so much loaded in those four words…

I returned to the temporary clutches of the dark, dreary, den of inequity that I dwell in… my parents lower level basement… back to retreat in the catacomb of life that I now know, and that my ex-husband is more than pleased to remind me of… my CHOICE… it was my choice to make… which now makes me more anxious and depressed… I vow once again, to not return to the beach house that was once my own…

My cat, Solomon immediately takes his place underfoot as I am welcomed home by his vociferous meows and buzzing body… encircling my feet… he makes me anxious… I can hardly walk down the hallway without tripping over him… he senses the depression… lays on me the first night, almost smothering my face… he cannot seem to get close enough to me… he loves me unconditionally… and I push him away because I am so sad, and feel so unlovable… although I know all he is trying to do it take away my sadness, pain and depression… all he is trying to do is tell me four little words…

“This too shall pass…”

I Corinthians 10:12 ~ King Solomon once searched for a cure against depression. He assembled his wise men together. They meditated for a long time and gave him the following advice: Make yourself a ring and have thereon engraved the words "This too shall pass." The King carried out the advice. He had the ring made and wore it constantly. Every time he felt sad and depressed, he looked at the ring, whereon his mood would change and he would feel cheerful.

Many may recall this phrase as used by Abraham Lincoln. He went through what would be the darkest period in the entire US history when both sides of his own soldiers were killing each other, in tens of thousands. Every passing day, he said to himself, “This too shall pass.”

It is also said an Eastern monarch once charged his wise men to invent him a sentence, to be ever in view, and which should be true and appropriate in all times and situations. They presented him the words: "And this, too, shall pass away." How much it expresses! How chastening in the hour of pride! How consoling in the depths of affliction!

The quote, in itself, is simple… The true wisdom found in its straightforward meaning and personal declaration.

Maktub! This too... shall pass...

~ j. marshon